Erin Avondet: Television Producer and Writer

Following a series of extremely disappointing events on all of my favorite television shows and a long conversation over dinner with a friend about these events, I have decided to become a television producer and writer. In my dinner conversation, my friend and I rewrote a few TV shows to fit our liking. All of our rewrites made us downright giddy. We almost did a happy dance in the middle of the restaurant. This abrupt and desperately needed career change stems from one thing and one thing only: the inability of television-powers-that-be to make their characters happy.

I mean THINK about it. Have you ever watched a TV show where the character is actually happy? Legitimately happy. NO. Okay, well actually, with the exception of Jim and Pam on The Office, there are ZERO totally happy characters gracing the television. Something always has to go wrong. ALWAYS. And where is the justice in that? And how realistic is it? Not at all. They only get to be happy when the television network finally decides to cancel a show.

Example:
I'm going to take this example from Chuck because it's the one that has me mad. For those who do not watch this wonderful slice of heaven, Chuck, the adorable nerd, is in love with Sarah, the hot spy, who secretly loves him back. These two have clearly been set up from the beginning of the show to be together. Everyone knows it and it's no longer "will they, won't they?", it's "they will...but when?" Scenarios like this are beyond frustrating. Especially when they've confessed their feelings, had a steamy make-out session, and one half of the couple has asked the other to run away with her to live a life of baby making and bliss. How can writers logically and rightfully continue to keep them apart?

I know that everyone says once you put the two lovers together, the show loses its spark and the only way to get it back is to break them up, a.k.a. The Ross/Rachel Conundrum. I disagree. A show should not be based on the romance. One should be able to get two characters together and keep the show interesting by using the relationship. Jim and Pam have done it, and people are still watching The Office. Granted, it's not as good as it used to be, but that's not because Jim and Pam are boring. It's because the writers are running out of material.

On another note, making characters happy doesn't necessarily have to do with romance. It's about the character's interests and their desires. On Alias, Sydney Bristow is never happy until the end. Again, they use these tragedies and road blocks to set up plot points, but COME ON! Give them a little happiness every once in a while rather than giving them a taste and then totally ripping it out from underneath them. That's just cruel. Not to the characters. No, no. They're not real. It's the viewers I'm concerned about. I utterly despise feeling sad for fake people. And I hate feeling betrayed. And I really hate it when the writers are just dragging something out needlessly. It's one thing when it's believable (which makes it bearable) and completely another when the show just feels like it's being altered to keep the suspense.



Thus, I will become a writer. I will have a TV show of happy people who end up with the people they love after the appropriate amount of time, without the extra love interests that keep them apart for no reason and without the excess pains that most writers insert into the lives of their characters. My new show will make people across America (and possibly Canada) happy. And because I will be a television producer as well, I will never have my show cancelled. One happy TV show. That's all I ask.

How to survive the MCAT with MUSIC

As of the first week of January, I have been diligently trying to study for the MCAT. It's pretty intense and most days I just want to 1.) cry, 2.) shoot myself, or 3.) burn something down. Thus, to deal with my anger and stage 8 depression, I listen to music. This may not be a wise decision considering the fact that my music is kind of depressing. My sister once told me that she just wanted to slit her wrists when she listened to my music. I'm still offended.

Closer by Kings of Leon- Yeah. This song is sexy. That's all there is too it. I have recently fallen in love with Kings of Leon despite his strange voice. But it's too good to pass up. I'm obsessed with this song. If you want another Kings of Leon song listen to Sex On Fire or Be Somebody. Those are my other favorites and they convinced me to love this band.

Blood Bank by Bon Iver- Bon Iver is straight up beautiful. I've said it one hundred times and I'll say it again: it's the chill, folksy way he sings. Everything about this song is great.

Get Up Get Out by The Rosebuds-I kind of stumbled across this band while music surfing. I'm still not sure how I feel about it...but I'm putting this song on probation. And it has a secret hilarious meaning. "Get up, get out" is an inside joke with some of my good friends. It has been yelled many times in my apartment.

Backwards Walk by Frightened Rabbit- ACCENT. Listen to this Scottish man sing. I think that's why I'm obsessed. Lurve it.

World Spin Madly On by The Weepies- I might be obsessed with this song too. Not shocking. I'm obsessed with lots of songs. This song has never gotten old in the few years I've known about it. I could listen to it forever. Chill guitar, great song.

Casimir Pulaski Day by Sufjan Stevens- With a name like Sufjan, how can you go wrong? My roommate and I have an imaginary love affair with him. This song is extremely depressing, but it's beautiful and almost heart wrenching. Sufjan has a very distinct style. Listen to more of him and you will see...

Lake Michigan by Rouge Wave- What a great little band. I love their cover of Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Big fan of this one too. Fun background clapping and it's pretty catchy.

What Sarah Said by Death Cab for Cutie- De. Press. Ing. This song is also sad but in a totally different way from the Sufjan song. And I love it. Cynical and bitter. Sometimes you need that.

Black and Gold by Sam Sparro- Makes me want to be a spy so I can make my entrance using this song and then proceed to kick some serious bad-guy trash. And that's why I'll never be a spy.

Give an Arm to its Socket by The Republic Tigers- His voice is very different from anyone I've heard in recent memory. I can always pick it out of a mix of songs. The Republic Tigers are my favorite recent discovery.

Dream On by Aerosmith- Yep. I'm going old school on you. This song is sweet. And Steven Tyler is cool. Mostly because he's Arwen's dad. But also because he's in Aerosmith.

Signs by Bloc Party- Got to love that percussion at the beginning. I can't really explain it, but something about this song makes me grateful to be alive.

I Know What I Am by Band of Skulls- Awesome. They feel old school but...not at the same time. Their album Baby Darling Doll Face Honey is definitely worth a listen if you think this song is good. I know I love it. Death By Diamonds and Pearls is my personal favorite.

Human by The Killers- Why on earth do I love this song? Oh, I know, because I want to dance to it. Because I am not Human. I am Dancer. Wait...what does that even mean? All I know is that this song is kind of epic.

Exogenesis: Symphony Part 3 by Muse- I wanted to put all three Symphonies on here for everyone to hear, but that would just be excessive. SO LISTEN TO ALL THREE. Trust me. It's worth it. They are probably the best part of the newest Muse album, The Resistance. Matt Bellamy is too amazing. He integrates classical music seamlessly with rock. It's perfect. I adore him. Maybe I'll name my children after him...he definitely deserves it.

Dear Sicky:

Over the last few months, with the out break of the Swine Flu, BYU has instituted a policy concerning sick students. If you are sick, contact your professor and DO NOT come to class. At the start of last semester, signs were everywhere. Literally. Every building was practically plastered in them. It was, however, for good reason. Why spread a sickness when the majority of the people living in Provo are students who have to go to class and the last thing they want is to get sick. I personally turned into a hand washing/hand sanitizer maniac. I was not going to get sick.

This policy of "if you're sick, please don't come to class" was and still is a good policy, despite the fact that The Swine is essentially dying down. It did, on the other hand, give people license to say that they had the flu and could not attend class for a week, when in reality these people were perfectly fine and decided to go to Disneyland instead of class. I'm not mad about that. THIS is what I'm mad about. I will preface with a story.

In my Advanced Molecular Biology class, I sit in the back of the room, in the same place every day. There is a boy who always sits behind me every class period. The other day, I sat down only to hear sniffling and snorting. That's right. He was sick. I looked over my shoulder only to see that he had bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose. Now, the fact that he was sick would have been bad enough. But no, he's not just sick, he's a mouth breather. As in "hey, sorry, but I can't breathe through my nose so I hope that it's okay that I breathe really loudly through my mouth instead and I hope you don't mind if I'm breathing RIGHT on your neck" mouth breathing. Needless to say, I felt so germy by the end of class that I wanted to bathe in hand sanitizer. But, oh. It gets worse. Just moments after leaning forward to get as far from sicky boy as possible, he started coughing. More like hacking. And the worst part was, he didn't really cover his mouth. As my roommate Emma said, "Doesn't he realize he broke like, 17 cardinal rules about being sick by NOT covering his mouth?" No Emma, I don't think he did realize. Now he was spreading his germs more by not covering his mouth and I was getting the full effect of it. I thought it couldn't get worse. But it did. He was sniffling and I knew he was going to sneeze any second. Oh boy did he. On me. At this point, I gagged. In fact I almost threw up in my mouth. I was ready to give him a piece of my mind when the bell rang and he was up and out the door. I turned to my friends in the class who just stared at me. One said "That...was foul." The other said, "Seriously? He has no manners."

So, to the Sicky Boy in MMBio 441: If I get sick within the next few days with a cold, I know that you are the one who gave it to me. I know where you sit every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning from 9:00 to 9:50. And I will come to drop off my bills for Tylenol and Nyquill to you. But I will not stay in class because I don't want to get other people sick. And I'll even wear a mask just for their benefit. But it will be because of you that I will be dying and I will show no mercy. You will pay me back and I will enjoy every penny. So you had better hope that my antibodies and white blood cells are awesome because if they aren't, it's on.

A word to all- please do not come to class (or if you don't have class, don't go out in public) if you are sick. And if you do decide to come, don't cough or sneeze or breathe on people. It's yucky. And it makes other people sick, which is generally not a good thing. Bring some tissues and sit as far away from everyone as you possibly can. That would be favorable.

Two Goals, One Objective

This blog is about goals. Two goals I made over Christmas break in particular. One short term, the second not so short term. Keep in mind that both goals are not only ridiculous but AWESOME.

Over Christmas break, I made several short term goals that could be fulfilled over the break. These goals included reading several books, figuring out how busy my schedule this semester would be, making my mother's Christmas madness a little less crazy, and so on. But the most important goal was that I needed to get at least 10 hours of sleep each night. And since I am gradually becoming an old lady, that meant falling asleep by about 10 every night, 11 at the latest. At this rate, I did not get 10 hours of sleep a night. Oh, no. I far exceeded my goal, typically waking up at about 9:30 or 10 depending on how late my evening was (yes I stayed up till midnight on New Years. Granted, I was lying on the couch with my blanket, in pajamas, drinking wassail, and long blinking every five seconds while watching Star Trek with my dad. But I made it!) Sleep has never been more amazing. I think I would rather sleep than eat or maybe even breathe. But that kind of sleeping is called dying, so let's not go there.

My second goal is what I like to refer to as the "Spies have hot bodies, so why can't I?" goal. In other words, I aspire to look like the spies on television. Two spies in particular: Sydney Bristow from the now cancelled "Alias" and Sarah Walker from my favorite television show, "Chuck". On the one hand, both of these women are actresses and thus have personal trainers, wardrobe people, stunt doubles (to make them look cooler than they really are), and are basically born smoking hot. Since I have none of the first three (too non-talented in the actress department) and I've never really seen myself as a natural "bombshell", this goal has quickly evolved into the second most "difficult-to-achieve" goal I've ever tried to reach. But my motto is that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. So, I will embark on a journey to look somewhat like this:



Ooorrrrr this:



I don't think it will be too much of a stretch to have expectations to look slightly like these women. It's not like I'm going to go all Octo-mom and get plastic surgery to look exactly like them, facial features and all. That's just creepy. But I figure if I work out, I'll have a shot. I suppose the biggest work out will be this summer when I spend my time hiking and basically playing outdoors all day. Even if this goal seems unrealistic, I could care less. I just like that it gives me some motivation to be smoking hot.

In Edward’s Defense…Jacob can go DIE

Okay, so after seeing New Moon and hearing various discussions on the topic, I feel like this post is necessary. And I realize it’s ridiculous and I actually don’t care that much (but part of me does because I think people are generally stupid/missing the point) and TOTALLY pointless. But this is my blog and I do what I want. JUDGE ME ALL YOU WANT! So, without further ado…

While I understand why the entire Twilight fandom and every teenage girl ever is ga-ga for Taylor Lautner’s abs and big smile, I just have one thing to say: Edward is still better.

Why would I say this? Well, I could give about a million reasons all ending with the fact that Robert Pattinson is basically the best thing since electricity to happen to this planet. I digress. So, everyone is all upset that Robert Pattinson’s body is not quite like Jacob’s. But then again, WHO IS? I heard a girl say “Wow, Edward needs to work on his body.” True, he’s not ripped and putting on 30 pounds of muscle (props to you Taylor), but it’s not like he’s made of nothing. Don’t believe me?





There. Now you can’t argue with me about that. I win. And I would like to say that I might respect him more for refusing to shave his chest. Most men are hairy and yucky. What Robert Pattinson has is basically NOTHING. Sorry people, but that’s a reality of life we must deal with: Men (Those with chiseled jaws and perfect cheekbones) are usually at least a little hairy. BOYS (17 year olds who play werewolves and are kind of illegal to look at like THAT) are not. Another thing: pale NEVER films well. Seriously, the fact that they made Edward look pale without making him look like he’s totally dead is a magical miracle. The fact that Taylor Lautner is already bronze skinned doesn’t make Rob Pattinson look as good. But that doesn’t stop me from wishing he were my boyfriend and would rip his shirt off to show himself to the world because he loves me and thinks I’m dead, and…never mind. Finally, it’s the scene. He’s depressed. He’s alone. He hasn’t showered in months (hello, he’s still wearing the same shirt from the breakup). Basically, he looks like hell. That’s how he’s supposed to look. Plus, who gets the girl? The good looking one, or the muscle bound behemoth who turns into a hairy nasty wolf?

Now it’s time for me to get up on my nerdy, Twilight soapbox (because I have one) and say something that has nothing to do with biceps or body hair. And I am aware that this will reveal me for what I truly am: a 21 year old girl who finds happiness in teen lit despite how awful it is.

First of all - I can’t deny that I actually found Taylor to be engaging. He portrayed Jacob just the way I pictured him. But…I still hate Jacob with a fiery burning passion. (What can I say? When you are team Edward, you are TEAM EDWARD.) Now to what I want to say. The story isn’t about Taylor Lautner’s body. It’s not about men running around in the forest half naked. In fact, in one scene when Jacob has his shirt off, I almost yelled “Put your damn shirt back on, you GIRL!” but then realized I might get murdered. Seriously, people. The story is about Edward and Bella, not Jacob’s or Edward’s body. That’s what it’s been from the start. It shouldn’t matter. Jacob can go die and nothing will happen to the core of the story. Can you deny that Edward and Bella aren’t made of awesome, sexy, deliciousness? Heh, didn’t think so. They are dear, sweet perfection. Well…maybe I should say “sweet, crazy, sexy, absolutely ridiculous, obsessive/possessive, kind of wrong, badly written, and weird perfection.”

And that is why:
1.) I win
2.) Jacob can go die.