Dear Sicky:

Over the last few months, with the out break of the Swine Flu, BYU has instituted a policy concerning sick students. If you are sick, contact your professor and DO NOT come to class. At the start of last semester, signs were everywhere. Literally. Every building was practically plastered in them. It was, however, for good reason. Why spread a sickness when the majority of the people living in Provo are students who have to go to class and the last thing they want is to get sick. I personally turned into a hand washing/hand sanitizer maniac. I was not going to get sick.

This policy of "if you're sick, please don't come to class" was and still is a good policy, despite the fact that The Swine is essentially dying down. It did, on the other hand, give people license to say that they had the flu and could not attend class for a week, when in reality these people were perfectly fine and decided to go to Disneyland instead of class. I'm not mad about that. THIS is what I'm mad about. I will preface with a story.

In my Advanced Molecular Biology class, I sit in the back of the room, in the same place every day. There is a boy who always sits behind me every class period. The other day, I sat down only to hear sniffling and snorting. That's right. He was sick. I looked over my shoulder only to see that he had bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose. Now, the fact that he was sick would have been bad enough. But no, he's not just sick, he's a mouth breather. As in "hey, sorry, but I can't breathe through my nose so I hope that it's okay that I breathe really loudly through my mouth instead and I hope you don't mind if I'm breathing RIGHT on your neck" mouth breathing. Needless to say, I felt so germy by the end of class that I wanted to bathe in hand sanitizer. But, oh. It gets worse. Just moments after leaning forward to get as far from sicky boy as possible, he started coughing. More like hacking. And the worst part was, he didn't really cover his mouth. As my roommate Emma said, "Doesn't he realize he broke like, 17 cardinal rules about being sick by NOT covering his mouth?" No Emma, I don't think he did realize. Now he was spreading his germs more by not covering his mouth and I was getting the full effect of it. I thought it couldn't get worse. But it did. He was sniffling and I knew he was going to sneeze any second. Oh boy did he. On me. At this point, I gagged. In fact I almost threw up in my mouth. I was ready to give him a piece of my mind when the bell rang and he was up and out the door. I turned to my friends in the class who just stared at me. One said "That...was foul." The other said, "Seriously? He has no manners."

So, to the Sicky Boy in MMBio 441: If I get sick within the next few days with a cold, I know that you are the one who gave it to me. I know where you sit every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning from 9:00 to 9:50. And I will come to drop off my bills for Tylenol and Nyquill to you. But I will not stay in class because I don't want to get other people sick. And I'll even wear a mask just for their benefit. But it will be because of you that I will be dying and I will show no mercy. You will pay me back and I will enjoy every penny. So you had better hope that my antibodies and white blood cells are awesome because if they aren't, it's on.

A word to all- please do not come to class (or if you don't have class, don't go out in public) if you are sick. And if you do decide to come, don't cough or sneeze or breathe on people. It's yucky. And it makes other people sick, which is generally not a good thing. Bring some tissues and sit as far away from everyone as you possibly can. That would be favorable.

Two Goals, One Objective

This blog is about goals. Two goals I made over Christmas break in particular. One short term, the second not so short term. Keep in mind that both goals are not only ridiculous but AWESOME.

Over Christmas break, I made several short term goals that could be fulfilled over the break. These goals included reading several books, figuring out how busy my schedule this semester would be, making my mother's Christmas madness a little less crazy, and so on. But the most important goal was that I needed to get at least 10 hours of sleep each night. And since I am gradually becoming an old lady, that meant falling asleep by about 10 every night, 11 at the latest. At this rate, I did not get 10 hours of sleep a night. Oh, no. I far exceeded my goal, typically waking up at about 9:30 or 10 depending on how late my evening was (yes I stayed up till midnight on New Years. Granted, I was lying on the couch with my blanket, in pajamas, drinking wassail, and long blinking every five seconds while watching Star Trek with my dad. But I made it!) Sleep has never been more amazing. I think I would rather sleep than eat or maybe even breathe. But that kind of sleeping is called dying, so let's not go there.

My second goal is what I like to refer to as the "Spies have hot bodies, so why can't I?" goal. In other words, I aspire to look like the spies on television. Two spies in particular: Sydney Bristow from the now cancelled "Alias" and Sarah Walker from my favorite television show, "Chuck". On the one hand, both of these women are actresses and thus have personal trainers, wardrobe people, stunt doubles (to make them look cooler than they really are), and are basically born smoking hot. Since I have none of the first three (too non-talented in the actress department) and I've never really seen myself as a natural "bombshell", this goal has quickly evolved into the second most "difficult-to-achieve" goal I've ever tried to reach. But my motto is that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. So, I will embark on a journey to look somewhat like this:



Ooorrrrr this:



I don't think it will be too much of a stretch to have expectations to look slightly like these women. It's not like I'm going to go all Octo-mom and get plastic surgery to look exactly like them, facial features and all. That's just creepy. But I figure if I work out, I'll have a shot. I suppose the biggest work out will be this summer when I spend my time hiking and basically playing outdoors all day. Even if this goal seems unrealistic, I could care less. I just like that it gives me some motivation to be smoking hot.

In Edward’s Defense…Jacob can go DIE

Okay, so after seeing New Moon and hearing various discussions on the topic, I feel like this post is necessary. And I realize it’s ridiculous and I actually don’t care that much (but part of me does because I think people are generally stupid/missing the point) and TOTALLY pointless. But this is my blog and I do what I want. JUDGE ME ALL YOU WANT! So, without further ado…

While I understand why the entire Twilight fandom and every teenage girl ever is ga-ga for Taylor Lautner’s abs and big smile, I just have one thing to say: Edward is still better.

Why would I say this? Well, I could give about a million reasons all ending with the fact that Robert Pattinson is basically the best thing since electricity to happen to this planet. I digress. So, everyone is all upset that Robert Pattinson’s body is not quite like Jacob’s. But then again, WHO IS? I heard a girl say “Wow, Edward needs to work on his body.” True, he’s not ripped and putting on 30 pounds of muscle (props to you Taylor), but it’s not like he’s made of nothing. Don’t believe me?





There. Now you can’t argue with me about that. I win. And I would like to say that I might respect him more for refusing to shave his chest. Most men are hairy and yucky. What Robert Pattinson has is basically NOTHING. Sorry people, but that’s a reality of life we must deal with: Men (Those with chiseled jaws and perfect cheekbones) are usually at least a little hairy. BOYS (17 year olds who play werewolves and are kind of illegal to look at like THAT) are not. Another thing: pale NEVER films well. Seriously, the fact that they made Edward look pale without making him look like he’s totally dead is a magical miracle. The fact that Taylor Lautner is already bronze skinned doesn’t make Rob Pattinson look as good. But that doesn’t stop me from wishing he were my boyfriend and would rip his shirt off to show himself to the world because he loves me and thinks I’m dead, and…never mind. Finally, it’s the scene. He’s depressed. He’s alone. He hasn’t showered in months (hello, he’s still wearing the same shirt from the breakup). Basically, he looks like hell. That’s how he’s supposed to look. Plus, who gets the girl? The good looking one, or the muscle bound behemoth who turns into a hairy nasty wolf?

Now it’s time for me to get up on my nerdy, Twilight soapbox (because I have one) and say something that has nothing to do with biceps or body hair. And I am aware that this will reveal me for what I truly am: a 21 year old girl who finds happiness in teen lit despite how awful it is.

First of all - I can’t deny that I actually found Taylor to be engaging. He portrayed Jacob just the way I pictured him. But…I still hate Jacob with a fiery burning passion. (What can I say? When you are team Edward, you are TEAM EDWARD.) Now to what I want to say. The story isn’t about Taylor Lautner’s body. It’s not about men running around in the forest half naked. In fact, in one scene when Jacob has his shirt off, I almost yelled “Put your damn shirt back on, you GIRL!” but then realized I might get murdered. Seriously, people. The story is about Edward and Bella, not Jacob’s or Edward’s body. That’s what it’s been from the start. It shouldn’t matter. Jacob can go die and nothing will happen to the core of the story. Can you deny that Edward and Bella aren’t made of awesome, sexy, deliciousness? Heh, didn’t think so. They are dear, sweet perfection. Well…maybe I should say “sweet, crazy, sexy, absolutely ridiculous, obsessive/possessive, kind of wrong, badly written, and weird perfection.”

And that is why:
1.) I win
2.) Jacob can go die.

To be a Cougar football fan is sometimes...AWESOME

Ah yes. Sweet, sweet victory.

Fun on a Saturday night, a Saturday night...WHA?

So today has been deemed Lazy Saturday. Well, at least in a way it's been lazy. Although I gave my apartment the ultimate scrub down (my kitchen glimmers, I tell you what), tried to vacuum (anyone have a spare vacuum they want to donate to the poor college kid fund?), and made sure that I finished all of my physics homework (100% baby!), I still managed to totally and completely chill out today.

While I cleaned, I listened to a glorious shutout by the BYU football team. I feel in my heart that a Wyoming shutout was just what I needed to make cleaning a joyous occasion. I adore listening to Greg Wrubell yell and shout. Whenever I hear his voice, I think of the Utah game in 2006 and him literally screaming "Throws behind him, it is....CAUGHT FOR THE TOUCHDOWN! Caught for the touchdown! Caught for the touchdown! Jonny Harline got it for the score! Harline by himself in the endzone! The Cougars win it! On the final play of the game!" The man is an absolute nut but, like I said, I adore him.

Then I proceeded to sit on the couch for the rest of the day. In fact, I am still there right now, and I sat down at about 2:00 p.m. It's now 11:00 p.m. I will say this in my defense: I did shower and I have eaten food. I even did my homework while sitting on said couch. So the reality is that I'm not quite as lazy as I seem. On the other hand, I have done a plethora of things I don't normally do.

First: I watched three football games. Okay, so actually...I do this every Saturday. But this time I actually watched them, rather than listening while studying for a test of some kind. Instead I was able to enjoy seeing games play out on my little screen. None of the games were as pretty/kick-A as the BYU game, obviously, but it was basically awesome.

Second: I watched interviews with basically every movie star ever. Well, maybe not ever, but I did watch a lot. I watched interviews with John Krasinski/Jim from The Office, Jenna Fischer/Pam from The Office, Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Harrison Ford, the Slumdog Millionaire people, and just about everyone that was in a movie last year. I have discovered that I wish John Krasinski were my lover, Harrison Ford would shut up, and Robert Pattinson was my best friend. Sigh. Wishful thinking will get me nowhere.

Third: I decided to order pizza and drink a Dr. Pepper while I watched a movie. I chose Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, the film obsession of my younger years. I don't own it, so I got on Youtube and hunted down an HD version. The problem is, in this version, when the aliens speak, there aren't any subtitles. Sad thing is I DIDN'T NEED THEM. I knew exactly what they were saying. And I haven't watched this Episode since Episode III came out almost 5 years ago. Maybe even before that. I never realized how pathetic I was. But I will embrace the nerdy side of myself and chow down on pizza instead.

So now, I will finish my movie and snuggle up in my bed under my comforter on this Lazy Saturday. Hope all is happy in your world!