The Playlist: Altered

As much as I love my playlist I have created specifically for this blog, the time has come for me to put a new one up. Hopefully you enjoy!

1. Summer Skin by Death Cab for Cutie- Lyrics. LYRICS my friends.

2. Typical by Mutemath- Don't know who they are? Well, listen to this song and you will WANT to know. I'm mostly obsessed with his voice.

3. My Sundown by Jimmy Eat World- Holy...there are no words to describe everything that this song is to me. When I feel sad or happy or any emotion, I listen to this song. If I can't sleep, I listen to this song. If I want to feel like I can do something, I listen to this song. It is far and away my favorite song. Has been for years.

4. Starlight by Muse- What kind of playlist would this be without MUSE!? If people have heard of Muse, this is usually the song they've heard of. It is made of awesome.

5. Catch my Disease by Ben Lee- His accent, his voice, and the greatness of this song. But mostly his accent.

6. Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron and Wine- Susie and I are obsessed with this song. We think it's so cute and precious. But...the lyrics aren't actually cute. They don't even make sense. But when Edward Cullen dances to this song, it makes it romantic automatically.

7. Fake Empire by The National- MEGAN WINEGAR: I am eternally indebted to you for introducing me to this song. My love for it has quickly become obsession. And I have converted my roommates to love The National as well.

8. Repetition Kills You by The Black Ghosts- I can't explain it. I love this song. Simple as that.

9. The Longer I Run by Peter Bradley Adams- The most CHILL music ever. I love his voice and the fact that he plays the piano and guitar.

10. 15 Step by Radiohead- This song rocks my world. Radiohead is 100% awesome and this song adds another 200% to their greatness.

11. The Past and Pending by The Shins- The Shins and Death Cab were my first real foray into the alternate music scene. This song will never get old.

12. Wake Up by The Arcade Fire- ...No words. Just listen.

13. The Resolution by Jack's Mannequin- Makes me feel like getting up on the table and playing the guitar in the middle of the library. I want to sing it at the top of my lungs whenever I hear it.

14. Disintegration by Jimmy Eat World- I'm pretty sure I'm obsessed with this song right now. When I listen to it, it makes me mad, sad, and angry all at once. This is what I like to call my venting song. And it's when I get to the chorus that all of the emotion comes out. And the three emotions I listed above don't even cover all of the ones I feel while listening to this song. Jimmy always speaks to me. ALWAYS.

Oh, the Nerdiness of it All

I am about to announce something to the whole of the internet. I am a self professed Twilight nerd. There are times when I am embarrassed of my deep love for all things Stephenie Meyer, but for the most part, I don't mind. Instead I embrace it. However; I do take comfort in the fact that I still maintain a life outside the world of vampires, werewolves, and their love lives. Twilight is not and never will be "MY LIFE". It's just that when I like something, I like it with every part of me. Nothing can change it either. Just the way I roll I guess.

As I'm sure everyone knows, Twilight had a monster weekend this week with the release of the first movie in the series. And after an ENORMOUS (and when I say enormous, I mean huge, crazy, and double the budget) box office intake, the studio that made it is moving up production of the second movie, New Moon. And I am STOKED. Like, the 100%-absolutely-excited-and-psyched kind of stoked. Ah. The movie. I did truly love it. Cheesy? Yes. A little choppy and full of strange camera angles? Definitely. Ridiculous? To the max. Full of beautiful people? Ooooh yeah! Rob Pattinson embodied Edward Cullen in every possible way. From the sarcasm to the absolutely brooding beauty, he was true perfection. I might legitimately love him...okay, not really. But I do think he is fabulous. AND! Was it hilarious, sexy, charming, awkward, and filmed in a beautiful location? Done and done. All I had to do was overlook the little faults and focus on the performances of Edward and Bella. I found them to be absolutely adorable and even believable. Not to mention, they had sexual tension you could cut with a knife and participated in the hottest, possibly most amazing kiss I have ever witnessed. Believe it.



The thing is that people are bashing it. And I'm all for people having their opinions. It's a good thing. But when it comes to bashing, not okay. All I have to say is: WHOA! Settle down. It's just supposed to be a fun and entertaining movie. It's called an adaption for a reason. Yes, there were things I wanted to see that weren't there. And yes, I didn't like a few things. But that's okay. It's hard for me to find a movie where I liked everything about it. The most important thing to me was that I DID feel the exact same feelings that I felt when I read the book. The excitement, the pain, the anticipation, the tension, the desperation. It was all there. And that is really all that matters. That and seeing Edward and Bella, on screen and almost tangible. What can I say? I just love their love!

"As the Good Books says..."

The title of my blog is taken from the film "Fiddler on the Roof". For those who have not seen the greatness that is "Fiddler on the Roof" (a love that happens to be a product of my childhood), Tevye, who is quite possibly one of the greatest fictional characters EVER, is an Orthodox Jew that mostly rocks. He sings about "Tradition" (much better than my dad who, bless his heart, tries to sound and dance like him), sports an awesome beard and hair shirt, and lives in Czarist Russia. Oh, to watch that movie daily. Well, maybe not daily because it is LONG as can be. A good three hours plus. It was "Fiddler on the Roof" that prompted me to read my favorite book, My Name is Asher Lev
because I wanted to know more about Orthodox Jews.

I have a reason for writing about "Fiddler on the Roof" and Asher Lev: I have made a decision to branch out and take a little bit of a leap with my education. While I will keep my major PDBio for now, I am going to try something new. And that would be looking into Jewish Studies as a major or minor. A minor at least, but I make no guarantees that I will keep my major what it is right now.

This all stems from not only my fascination with media involving contemporary Jewish culture but from a class I took last Winter about Judaism in the ancient world. I have never been so enthralled by a class. I loved going to it more than almost anything...except Anatomy. The curriculum required that I read a book called This is My God by Herman Wouk. It details what Orthodox Jews believe. It is a fairly comprehensive look into the everyday lives of Jews across the world. A Jewish Studies minor requires me to take Hebrew (how cool would it to be to write on my Med School application to say "I speak Hebrew"?)and a few other classes about Jewish beliefs and culture. To say the least, I am very excited. Keep your fingers crossed for me that it will work out...

Why So Serious?

As a child, I loved Halloween more than almost anything. Christmas, summer, and Star Wars were the only three things that invoked more joy in my heart than Halloween. My mother would make us elaborate costumes and I would secretly trade my cute little pumpkin trick or treat bag for the biggest pillowcase I could find. I am fairly sure I have never been a girl for Halloween...Robin Hood, a clown, a pumpkin (both gender neutral), a fireman, G.I. Joe, Batman, Clark Kent, and the list goes on. This year would have been the first year I would have been portraying a female character if I had dressed up. I had a plan to be either Mariah Carey or Pam Beesley of "The Office" fame.

Over the last few years, I discovered I have little passion left for Halloween. There is only one thing I find to be of any value concerning this holiday: carving pumpkins.

I used to watch my dad carve pumpkins that were elaborate and pretty much awesome. I would try to imitate but fail miserably and end up resorting back to carving traditional triangles-for-eyes jack-o lantern. But now, I have a handy electric knife, awesome patterns, and a lot of practice under my belt. The only thing I don't have is matches. And so I decided to use my Christmas lights! They look a little funny because of all the different colored lights, but it works. And instead of carving one pumpkin, I went all out. This year it was four, one more than last year. My original plan was to carve Barack Obama, Jim Halpert, The Joker, and another unknown pattern. However, I was in NO mood to have my Obama pumpkin smashed by haters, so I altered the plan...



One of my favorite Pixar movies is "The Incredibles" and I thought since it was Halloween, I ought to do something kid friendly. Hence the Mr. Incredible



I did carve the Joker and when I finished and put the lights in, I was afraid. Oh yes...I was scared of a pumpkin.



And JIM! I just love him...happy!



Then last of all, we have Jack Sparrow. I carve him every year it seems. It's just that he's my favorite to carve because he's just so cool! I always screw up though...



And that...is all.

Yes We Can

"She is my HEARTSONG!"

When one thinks of T.V. shows of the 90’s, things like Seinfield, Friends, 90210, and even 21 Jump Street (Very young Johnny Depp? Watch it.), come to mind.
But one of the greatest and most underrated television shows to come from the decade of boy bands and ugly clothing was Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman.

Just a few weeks ago, my roommate Susie and I were discussing some of the things we love, even going so far as to discuss our guilty pleasures. Susie suddenly became very serious and turned to me. She bit her lip and giggled a little. “Erin,” she said looking ashamed, “I have always loved the T.V. show Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman…” I immediately shot up out of my reclined position in bed and yelled “ME TOO!” We both grinned and giggled, proceeding to talk about how much Dr. Quinn absolutely inspired us both to find a man like Sully and to be our own woman.

This blog is, you guessed it, entirely about the gloriousness of Dr. Quinn.

The main character is Michaela Quinn, the female doctor from Boston that rocks my world. How can a female doctor who adopts 3 random children, moves to the Wild West, and manages to woo a beautiful but rugged mountain man NOT be awesome? She is quite possibly one of the most beautiful women on the planet. And her dresses always seem to be very floofy and girly even though she always gets splattered with blood and guts. She also has a very strong moral compass. She’s always fighting about soe kind of moral dilemma going on in the little town of Colorado Springs. But there is one serious flaw she possesses: the woman does NOT know how to kiss. Every time she and Sully share a kiss, she ends up looking like a dead fish with her lips all puckered out. It’s just no good.

Dr. Mike adopted three random children when their mother unexpectedly died: Matthew, the brooding older brother who ends up being very good looking and kind of a rebel (and gay in real life…dern), Colleen, the girl initially following in Dr. Quinn’s footsteps to be a doctor but instead marrying the marvelous Andrew, and Brian, the goober of a little brother that is just a flat out idiot with a good heart.
In the first season, Matthew and Brian have utterly horrendous girly haircuts that resemble mullets or perhaps something a pilgrim might have had at the first Thanksgiving. Pretty unfortunate if you ask me. But luckily, they got haircuts at the same time and looked just fine. I thought all was well on Dr. Quinn. Oh no. Colleen randomly switched actresses! She was this obnoxious, sort of urgly blonde haired little girl (who happens to be really hot now. I think she was a Bond girl) to a foxy redhead who ends up wooing the handsome Andrew, another town doctor. Apparently, from what I’ve learned on imdb.com, the first Colleen didn’t want to stay on. I’m not complaining about the swap though.

One thing about Matthew that I think is funny. He loves this immigrant girl (can’t remember where on earth she is from) named Ingrid. Ingrid is nice and great for Matthew and they decide to get married. Happy right? False. The writers of the show decided Ingrid needed to DIE. So she gets bitten by some wild animal and dies of rabies. RABIES? Really, Old Yeller?

The other residents of Colorado Springs are what make this show great. Horace, the awkward and weird looking telegraph operator who is in love with Myra, the woman working as a…lady of the night in Hank’s bar. Loren, the nasty old general store owner. Jake the…what does he do? He’s lame. Hank, the bar and brothel/hotel owner. Dorothy (or Theadorthy as we like to call her) the woman the runs the town newspaper and is Dr. Mike’s bestest friend. Robert E. and his wife, Grace (I think), the adorable black couple that make the townies bearable as well as being the owners of a café and horse stable. And the Reverend, who isn’t very reverend-ish because he pursues every unmarried woman in town.

I will finish with my favorite part of the show. Sully…he is my heartsong. His first name is Byron, which is definitely grounds to go by the last name. Only old English poets should go by the name Byron. Sully is a white man that is secretly an Indian. His best friend is named Cloud Dancing (But we call him Dancing Cloud because it rolls off the tongue a little easier) and whenever they see each other they say “Ah-ho!” in greeting. We of Wellington 33 have adopted this method as well. Just don’t yell it across the way or people might think you are pointing out a particularly trashy woman. Back to Sully: he owns the most beautiful dog (a Husky…I want it) and he carries a tomahawk to hurl at people that threaten Michaela. It’s drama all the time with Sully. The only downside to him is that his hair is sick. It’s all long and matted. I mean, he is a mountain man and all, but if you are going to be that beautiful, at least get a haircut, brother.

Sheesh...Mer...Sheeshmer? Hersheys?

My old roommate (wanted to say ex-roommate, but that would imply a falling out. There has been no such occurrence.) tagged me to fill one of these out. Might as well, right?

8 Favorite TV Shows:
The Office- I wrote a blog about it already. Read down below why I love it.
Alias- Butt kicking action, hot men with great tattoos, and Marshall the tech guy. Watch it. You know you want to.
Lost- Pretend that Lost doesn't rock for about five seconds.....done. Not realistic. A show full of great character development and slightly out of this world story lines. Let's remember and acknowledge that J.J. Abrams is basically awesome.
Chuck- So much love in my heart for this show. An extremely dorky but good looking guy and some hot chick that happens to be a CIA agent fall for each other...what more could you want? And I would like to be the mother of Zachary Levi's (the actor playing Chuck, the title character)children. I would do it for free too.
The O.C.- My guiltiest pleasure. When I feel sad or a little out of sorts, I plop down on the couch to watch Seth, Summer, and Ryan. But not Marissa. She's obnoxious and whiny. I am still very glad she died almost 2 years after the show ended.
Pushing Daisies- NED! He is the major draw for me. He makes pies and has that adorable little part! What a great guy. You know, minus the whole touching people that he loves and killing them...no good.
Friday Night Lights- I have NEVER been so stressed out in the pilot of a television show IN MY LIFE. I'm guessing it has to do with the fact it is all about football.
Smallville- Don't ask my why or how, but anything about a superhero just makes me want to watch. It's automatic.

8 Favorite Restaurants
Happy Sumo- A little piece of sushi heaven. I could eat sushi all day long on every day of the week. Mmmm!
J-Dawgs- Okay, so not technically a restaurant, but still. Provides the only hot dogs I actually like.
PF Changs- Chinese...Once I tasted that Great Wall of Chocolate desert they had, I was done for.
Pizza Hut- Pizza always seems to hit the spot for me. Pizza makes me feel like a little kid again.
Cafe Rio- Two words: Pork Burrito. Delightful.
California Pizza Kitchen- Reminds me of being with the roomies. I seem to celebrate most major occasions here. Even though it was the first meal I ate after BYU lost to Utah in 2005, I still have a special place for it in my heart.
Zupas- BUPAS! Fresh salads (Nuts About Berries= personal favorite) and a chocolate dipped strawberry (so Troy Bolton of them). That's all I need to make me happy.
Arby's- Roast Beef sandwich to go...that's all a girl needs in life. For REALS.

8 Things that happened yesterday
1. Watched High School Musical 3 illegally...heh!
2. Went to Sacrament meeting
3. Hung out with Garrett and Kimbre in a marriage prep class that isn't even in my ward
4. Made corkscrew pasta macaroni and cheese
5. Wrote a very creative story about Brian the Fat but Happy Rabbit
6. Sort of watched Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride on t.v.
7. Thought about taking a nap
8. Read a little for Chemistry

8 Things to look forward to
1. Thanksgiving
2. Harry Potter
3. The Office
4. Twilight Movie
5. A Great Night of Sleep
6. Christmas
7. The end of the semester
8. Playing in Idaho Falls

8 Things I love about Fall
1. Leaves
2. My mom making spider web sugar cookies and sending them to me
3. Football season!
4. I can wear a sweater
5. I can wear a jacket!
7. It always seems to smell amazing outside
8. It's going to SNOW! Snow makes my world a very joyful place

8 Things on my Wish list
1. Kayak
2. Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman complete DVD set (all 6 seasons and both movies)
3. A new iPod...Harrison is dying
4. Edward Cullen
5. Enough money to get involved with Doctors Without Borders
6. To get into Medical School
7. To see my sister Kate sometime soon
8. To go home and SLEEP!

Saddest of All the Days...

I was originally going to write a blog entitled “BYU: Legitimate Threat.” It detailed why BYU deserved to be placed in a BCS bowl game in the post-season. It is obvious and extremely unfortunate that I cannot post that. Thursday night, BYU played TCU in a game that recalled back to the days of Gary Crowton and Matt Berry. I have not been so annoyed with a football game since Boise State beat Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl (and I’m an Idahoan, so I feel fine about being a BSU hater). But more specifically, I haven’t been so frustrated watching a BYU game since BYU lost to Utah in 2005.

My analysis of the game won’t be kind. But, after I will definitely try to uplift and possibly inspire. I hope I can offer some optimism to the Cougar Nation and prove to the doubters that the team can rebound and take their place as a legitimate team in the national scheme of things.

Coach Mendenhall seems to be a soft spoken but stern man. He has high expectations for his team as evidenced by his motto for the year: The Quest for Perfection. Ever since Gary Crowton left in a maelstrom of the football team’s various BYU honor code violations, Mendenhall has emphasized discipline, spirituality, tradition, and honor. He expects only the best from his boys on and off the field. And I can’t even imagine what it would be like for those young men to walk into the locker room after that virtual failure at TCU and look into the face of Bronco Mendenhall. I doubt that he would yell at them. I can imagine he would wear a look something like that of a disappointed father and proceed to say something about how much they had let themselves down.

The BYU Campus newspaper, The Daily Universe, has weekly ratings for the various teams after the games. They are on a grading scale similar to what one would expect in school; an A for an exceptional performance and all the way down to an E (because BYU doesn’t give F’s for failing, just E’s) for a poor showing. Friday’s paper gave the defense an E. I credit the two defenses for TCU’s win. TCU was practically flawless. They are known for their ability to completely shut down the run. But the most impressive part of their defense was the fact that they stopped Max Hall and his receivers. BYU’s offensive line was unaccustomed to the speed of the defensive line and linebackers, giving up more sacks than they had all season. The defensive backs were fast and skilled. Their coverage was exceptional at forcing Max Hall into throws he didn’t want to make, intercepting the ball twice and not allowing any touchdowns through the air.

The BYU defense was utterly deplorable. They were outstripped, outrun, and just flat out outplayed. Run defense? None. Pass defense? Ha! This week, if Bronco doesn’t put the fear of God into those boys, UNLV might find a way to trample them. UNLV has talent and if they watch that tape closely enough, this week might be another nightmare week. But I have the feeling BYU won’t let another game like TCU happen again.

One thing is for sure: the Cougars didn’t come to play. TCU was prepared. BYU was not. They let their previous great play get to their heads. I know, along with everyone else that was at the UCLA game, how dominantly they can play. In other words, it’s up to BYU to rebound. This game should give them the heavy dose of humility they need. Cross your fingers they can show UNLV what they are REALLY made of. Think on the bright side! At least now those people will stop throwing tortillas on the field when the Cougars score.

At last...nuff said.

I just want to say that this was the best Dundies ever! WOOOOOOO!

This has been a week full of madness. I had two tests (dominated both, sucka) and two papers AND I have a presentation on Formalism to do for a week from today. But you know what? Who CARES about me!? This particular blog isn't even about me or what I have been doing. Oh no, it's about something much greater: this week is the season premiere of The Office. Everything from here on out will be dedicated to the greatness of said television show.

The Office is good for me. Why? Because it is based in a real setting without mythical beings or other ridiculous story lines. The Office is a great show to live vicariously through because it has a pretty good basis in reality. Mind you, I have never met anyone like Michael Scott in my life and hope never to meet someone like him. On the other hand, do I wish to meet someone like Jim Halpert? Absolutely I do.

There are 5 reasons why I love The Office. And these are in no particular order until the last one which is the NUMBER ONE reason I absolutely adore this show

-One Liners- THings like "Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica" and "Absolutely I do." have become a common part of my vocabulary. Not only do I say them to people that watch the show and know what I'm talking about, but I also say it to people that probably have no clue what I'm alluding to. That is the glory of The Office. When I say these lines to people that watch, they laugh and we typically launch into a conversation about the show. On the other hand, when I say them to people who don't watch, they laugh. So...win win win.

-Jim pranks- I am so sorry, but a stapler in Jell-O? Putting Dwight's stuff in the vending machine and forcing him to buy it all back with nickles? Matching Dwight's mobile phone to his headset so he gets all of Dwight's calls? Faxes from "Future Dwight"? Oh, or my personal favorite, dressing up like Dwight and mocking him in every way possible. After I watch the pranks play out, I'm usually rolling on the floor laughing or lying on my couch/bed with tears rolling down my cheeks because I'm cackling with real laughter. It just doesn't get any better than that, my friends.

-It's not a sitcom...per se- It's still funny and considered a sitcom I guess, but it ISN'T. It's not typical and it doesn't follow the formula. A solution isn't found my the end of the half an hour block. Often it's only made worse. The beautiful thing about The Office is it has an almost uncomfortably slow pacing. The rhythm helps to reinforce the doldrums of Dunder Mifflin Scranton and contrasts with the zany characters. It's like watching real like with a bit of zing to it. Good.

I have something to look forward to- It is really something that just brightens up my day. Class? Boring and hard. No bueno. Tests? Ew. Papers? Sick. Life in general? Eh...could be better. And it is made better by the likes of Michael, Dwight, Angela, Andy, Jim, Stanley, Kevin, Phyllis, Pam, Merideth, Creed, Ryan (occasionally), Jan, Oscar, and even Kelly. Not Toby though. I'm on team Michael for that one. I am a Toby loather. I digress. Little, half an hour escapes from reality are good for a person. Just revel in the non-reality of their reality...which is kind of like reality...hmm...

-JIM AND PAM (you knew it was coming...it's me, for crying out loud!)- Ah...love. Their love inspires me to be a better person. No, really. After watching for three seasons of heartache, anguish, and unrequited love, we (the "Jam" faithful) were rewarded with a glorious "Well, it's a date" and BAM! PB&J was born and the rest is history. At last they are together. And if they don't get engaged by Christmas, I will personally drive to California, hunt Greg Daniels down and somehow force him to write it in. I honestly can't take it much longer. The proposal gag in the season finale was enough to cause a riot last spring among women across the country. If they pull a Ross and Rachel where they are meant to be TOGETHER ("TOGETHER" being different than "together" in that marriage and never breaking up is involved in "TOGETHER") but they aren't till...the last scene? Kill. If they want to portray this as a real relationship that works, then by golly! get those kids MARRIED! And let them have lots of cute and hilarious children. Get on that writers. Appease me!


And now to wait until tomorrow for my one hour of bliss. Just one more day. My mantra till 8 p.m. tomorrow.

Word: Motivation, Definition: Not Erin

Word: Motivation
Definition:
1. the act or an instance of motivating.
2. the state or condition of being motivated.
3. something that motivates; inducement; incentive.

(Don't you love it when the word you are trying to define is part of the definition? So unhelpful)

I am surrounded by my science books (literally, not kidding, sitting on my floor, with Micro Bio on my left and O-Chem on my right with Astronomy behind me). They are there so I will feel motivated to do my homework. To be truthful, for some strange reason, this semester has brought a sense of laziness and a desire to sit around and do nothing. This has never happened to me in my ENTIRE LIFE. Usually, I am able to sit in the library or my apartment and just go. Once I got started, I could go for hours without a hitch. Not one problem on my horizon except whether or not this carbon would bond with that oxygen. But this semester? This semester is an absolute nightmare in terms of finding motivation.

Why?

Option One: My mind has suddenly become so focused on The Office starting up again that it can't do anything else.
Option Two: My brain is already full and cannot be filled beyond capacity.
Option Three: London has ruined me. I go there and I learn so much, see everything, and have the time of my life gallivanting around. Then I come back to Provo where everything is out of a book now. The U.K. transformed me into an entirely hands-on learner...drat!
Option REALITY: I have entered Senior mode two years too early. Seeing as how I will have to attend one semester beyond the "typical" (HA!) 4 years, I will graduate in December 2010...reality hits. I have 2 more years. My brain has just comprehended the fact that I will be here till the END OF TIME. Kill the world. So, attempting to exact revenge on me, my brain has decided to wipe out all motivation and replace it with desires to watch bad television shows, eat Otter Pops, and read teen lit.

Solution?: Maybe this is just self fulfilling prophecy. I'm going to stick it to the man. I will turn on Harrison (my little red i-pod), change it to my chill Peter Bradley Adam's music, pick up My Name is Asher Lev and read till I DIE!...and then I will finish that RIDICULOUS study guide for Astronomy so I can get it out of the way. To be honest I have no idea what in the SAM HILL I will do to remain motivated. But I am open to suggestions.

Erm...What?

So I'm currently sitting in the library, a.k.a. the HBLL (pronounced H-Bill) and I SHOULD be studying. I keep staring at my astronomy (yes, I am taking astronomy and it is boring but comfortable in those planetarium seats that are padded and GASP! recline)and thinking, "Wow, I could be doing so much more right now...like watching Wentworth Miller on 'Prison Break' or even shoe shopping. Or sleeping. Or reading. Or not doing astronomy." But seeing as how my homework is due in a few days and I also have a test this weekend, I should probably get a move on that study guide. It's just that words like "diurnal" make me think of men's restrooms for some reason and then I start laughing out loud and people glare at me. It's a bit of dilemma.

SOLUTION: I will blog to get the creative juices flowing and the wheels turning in my brain. What will this blog be about, you may ask? Well, let me just tell you!

The playlist that ROCKS your SOCKS. I even put one together for your enjoyment...sorry if it interrupted YOUR music with it's automatic 'play' feature. Forgive me.

1. Glorious- Muse
Oh. Just listen to how that starts and then how it all comes together. Matt Bellamy owns my SOUL when it comes to music. I'm obsessed with the guitar in this song. I could listen to it all day long.
2. Dizzy- Jimmy Eat World
Jimmy Eat World never fails at putting out a song that makes me want to sing at the top of my lungs (did that with this song at the concert and I sung so loud and hard, I almost passed out...whoops!) or that has a real emotion that I cannot describe.
3. Why Does it Always Rain on Me- Travis
Just recently discovered on...who would have guessed it, Stephenie Meyer's website. Many of these songs were actually discovered there. I'm a big fan of his voice and the chill-ness of the music.
4. No Cars Go- The Arcade Fire
Where have The Arcade Fire been all my life? Really, I need everything and anything by them because they truly are musicians in every way. Again, I love his voice and the more retro feeling of this song.
5. Orange Sky- Alexi Murdoch
If I smoked weed (which I don't), this would be the song I would do it to. Chill, relaxed, and soothing: perfect weed smoking music. And he's got an accent. A British one to be exact.
6. Hang Me Up to Dry- Cold War Kids
Back to something maybe a little more eclectic, but I really like the bass and guitar in this song. Listen to it in the car and it's a lot more fun. I like how dark it is too.
7. The Scientist- Coldplay
My favorite of all the Coldplay songs. Chris Martin is an artist and this song is just amazing. The thing I love about Coldplay is that they use piano in almost every song. This song is just about the best one for that, except maybe Clocks.
8. Map of the Problematique- Muse
WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE. This song has the most incredible beginning, amazing guitar playing by Matt Bellamy, good bass for the car, and the lyrics? Oh...just steal me away Matt...I will go wherever you want me to as long as you play this song for me. Every time I hear it, I turn it up as loud as my ears will allow without my eardrums breaking.
9. We Looked Like Giants- Death Cab for Cutie
Death Cab puts out good stuff. And I really love listening to Ben Gibbard's voice. It's very interesting and distinctive. Good, good stuff. This song is a bit of a scandal, but that doesn't stop me from loving it.
10. I'm Ready, I Am- The Format
My thanks to Megan Winegar for introducing me to The Format. I'm very much a big fan as of right now. And I'm very sad that they have broken up...tears.
11. Split Screen Sadness- John Mayer
John Mayer...my first real concert. And it was a good one. This song is my kind of song: slow and depressing. Love it.
12. Release Me- Mae
This song is for Annie Davies. We listened to it far too often in London. It's just...yum.
13. The Special Two- Missy Higgins
Missy Higgins is one of two female artists I like. The other is Sara Bareilles. Another slow song that just makes me happy. Piano...kills me.
14. The Lining is Silver- Relient K
I found this song randomly when I was trying to find a preview for The Office on youtube. But then I knew I needed to own it. So now I love it.
15. Gravity- Sara Bareilles
Oh...this song. The lyrics just rip my heard out and then stomp on them in a lemon and lime filled tub. DRAMATIC? Yes. Overly so. But it is STILL a great song.

16. Wouldn't it Be Nice- The Beach Boys
Heh. This song makes me chuckle. Besides, who doesn't love the Beach Boys?
17. Decora- Spoon
Just found this song today actually. Spoon is one of those bands you hear on t.v. shows like The O.C. and the new 90210 that makes you grateful they have good music but sad that it is on those shows. Indie rock like Spoon is what makes those shows bearable. And then you go and buy the soundtrack so you can have that one song.
18. Supermassive Black Hole- Muse
Pure sexy. That is the only phrase that can be used to describe this song. It is everything that is sexy in this world.
19. Invincible- OK Go
I love the greatness that is this song. It makes me want to start dancing like a maniac and scream the lyrics as loud as possible.

And now I return to the world, or rather the universe, of Galileo and Copernicus. Then on to the world of carbon double bonds and constitutional isomerism. Followed by DNA and proteins...it never ends. Will graduation ever come?

Finding the Comfort

Every day, at some point, I think about my career choice. I struggle with what I have chosen to do and with who I want to be in my future. I want to be the best doctor I can be. I want to make the lives of those in pain easier. I want to see those little children with their eyes lit up with the excitement of a potential recovery. And strange as it may sound and hard as it will be, I am sure that when I lose that first patient, that first child, I will appreciate all that they will have brought in my life and made me feel. I don't want to be a doctor because I want money. I want to be a doctor because people are so unique, so incredible in their humanity that I want to see it everyday. I also want to get married. Contrary to what I always say about not wanting to get married, I really do. I want the life my parents have. I want to have a family even though it scares the...living daylights out of me. And I know that I can have both of those things. I know I can be a doctor and get married and have a family all in one. But that doesn't mean that I have any clue as to how I will be able to do it.

Often, when I tell people I want to attend medical school, I see something change in their eyes and I know exactly what is coming. The way they regard me is either confirmed or it does a complete 180. The looks and remarks I have received over the years have been nothing short of remarkable. While there are many who are supportive and who tell me that I should do what I feel is right for me, there are still those who adhere to the stereotype and expectations for me to marry and have a family. Today, most of the questions make me laugh. But initially (sometimes still) it was painful and hard to hear them. Some ask if I want a family or if I "even want to get married at all." Another question, probably the most hurtful of all, is if I feel comfortable taking the spot of a man who will need to support his family when all I have to support is myself and I could do so in some other profession.

My answer to this question in particular is always the same, calm and rehearsed answer. I say, "yes, I will take his spot. If he is not qualified enough to deserve it, I will take it so I can support myself and enjoy a career that I am passionate about." But I want to scream at them. I want to say "How DARE you question my passion, commitment, and above all, my ABILITY as a WOMAN to do as good a job as a man!? How dare you demean me and make me feel insecure about something that is a struggle every day of my life? I have a hard enough time reconciling who I know I need to be with what I want more than anything in this life, so don't you DARE EVER compare me to a man again."

My mother is one of the best, most intelligent women I have ever known. I respect her and my father above politicians, CEOs, world leaders, and just about everyone else on this planet. She is extremely well educated and is well informed in world and community issues. She taught me how to read, how to love, and introduced me to the good things in life. Her choice to stay at home and be a mother and teach her children is the one that has affected me the most in my life. She has never doubted me and always encouraged me in whatever I wanted to do. She is a homemaker and what she does is the HARDEST job on earth. The career path I have chosen will be difficult, but what she does everyday outshines and outstrips whatever I choose to do. I can only hope that one day I can be what she is to me to someone else. If I can do that with my family, even better. But one thing that I love about her is that she doesn't expect me to be her. She tells me to be who I want to be as long as I am a good person. I don't know if what I am saying here is contradictory to what I said above. It might be, but I just wanted to say that what I choose to do and be is my decision. And in my personal opinion, what a woman chooses to do or be is between her and whatever God she worships, not her and some stereotype that people expect. As of right now, I see that what I am doing is right and nothing will change that.

The City of Luuurve...No, Not Paris.

The City of Luuurve...No, Not Paris.

Okay, this is the blog I have been meaning to write for a very long time. It's quite a delightful little blog, if I may say so myself. I hope you get a kick out of it.

To start off, as we all know, I HATE couples. They make me gag. I have rarely ever seen a couple that doesn't disgust me. To clarify a few points, I do not hate all couples. Only those couples that just can't BARE to lose contact with each other. Sick. Just thinking about it makes me want to upchuck. And, of course, because I feel this way, couples in said couple category always seem to find me. There are definitely cute couples out there.
Couple 1: Gina and Rob. Okay. These two are RIDICULOUSLY adorable.
Couple 2: Satyra and Sterling. I love them. And I just want her to wait and see if it works...just one more year!
Couple 3: Jim and Pam.
Couple 4: Wellllll....potential couple. Lauren and...do I even need to say it? Oh well, I will: Brocky! Three words: Little, hilarious children.
Couple 5: Tanya...I mean Sister Cutler and Uncle Cutler! I think they're cute. Really. Not lying.
Couple 6: See picture. Need I say more?

While there are cute couples, after London, I have realized that there are just too many SICK couples out there. London only enhanced my experience.

Examples of SIIIIICK couples:

Wicked-I was sitting in my seat at Wicked having a grand old time people watching when a couple approached our row and slid in next to me. They started talking and I realized they were both American. I thought "How nice. A couple on holiday together and they're out on a date. That's great." FALSE. Not great. I left momentarily to buy a program to keep as a souvenir and then returned to my seat to find a couple heavily engrossed in a steamy make-out session. With ten minutes left until the beginning of the musical, I thought maybe they'd talk or exchange a few quick pecks or something. Boy was I wrong. They went AT it. For the full ten minutes. I turned to Annie and Kristin and pointed out the utter atrocity of it all and the fact that I was gagging. But seriously? In public for more than 10 minutes in front of children? SERIOUSLY!? The play began and like a breath of fresh Idaho mountain air, they stopped to watch. At intermission I turned to Annie to talk to her about the first half of the play only to see her eyes wide and staring past my shoulder at the couple. "Don't tell me." I said. She could only stifle a laugh and nod. I had to look. It's like watching a car accident. You don't want it to happen, but when it does, there's nothing you can do but watch. I could only watch for a few moments because my medulla oblongota kicked in and my primal gag reflex acted up. For the entirety of intermission, they were entangled in one another, completely and utterly and blissfully in love and oblivious to the crowd surrounding them. I was dying of course and said a little prayer of thanks when the show started again and they ceased their...ahem...loving of each other.

Example 2:

The Tube-The London underground is a marvelous place. Full of magic and wonder. You can go ANYWHERE you want, whenever you want (as long as it's between the time of 4 a.m. and midnight). However, the underground is a breeding place for young couples passionately in love. The worst part is that most of them are like, 14 and 15 year olds. Though I witnessed this affection on multiple occasions, one in particular stands out in my mind. I got on the Circle Line with Annie to go somewhere and play. It was a particularly busy day and the Tube was packed and slightly stinky and sticky. I was forced to stand and hold the little yellow bar at the top of the car. After I squeezed into a spot and grabbed the bar before the train lurched forward, I looked up. Right at a couple. They couldn't have been older than 16. And boy, were they liking (no, not licking, LIKING...stop it Kaccee) each other. Like at Wicked, I couldn't look away for a moment. I finally turned to Annie who was DYING laughing. She finally choked out "I wish you could have seen your face when you first saw them. Your eye's got huge and your nostrils flared!" Then she broke down laughing again. I said, "But seriously!? SERIOUSLY? What would possess them to do that!?" Annie shrugged and laughed again. "You always seem to find them. Or maybe they find YOU." She busted up again and pointed to them, tongues and lips still working. I couldn't look. I just stared straight ahead and waited till they got off. As they went up the escalator, I saw them snuggle up and watched him put his hands in her back pockets. This set Annie off again and I just about fell over laughing too. (note: this is not the couple...I wish I had a picture of that...hilarious)

This is the part of the blog where I make a vow. I will never EVER be half of a sick nasty couple that does things like that. That is all I have to say about it.

I guess I can give a quick update. My apartment rocks, my roommates are pretty awesome (but let's be honest, they have a lot to live up to, kind of an impossible task), and my classes are good. I'm hunting for a job and I ate a polish from J-Dawgs today. And I am done now.